I’m over 40K on my NaNo rewrite. :) I’m really happy about that. Overall, this month was very saddening and a terrible disappointment. I’m certainly distraught that I’ve driven everyone I considered a friend away and they no longer wish to speak to me, but I’m hoping that as I grow more accustomed to the isolation it will both hurt less and help me grow as a person. I was hoping that I’d get to meet more people this month and connect with people like me, but I feel like my social inadequacies sort of made that backfire and nothing came out of that. If anything, my lowered mood has made the barrier between me and the last people who could stand me impenetrable.
It’s certainly hard coping everything that’s happened in October and November, but I definitely was able to get more writing done than I’ve been able to in a long time. I’m hoping to throw myself into my schoolwork and my writing and stop worrying about my social issues by pulling myself away from social media as much as I can — because I feel like it’s more painful being online and being reminded constantly of my friendship failures and past goof-ups than just being by myself. Like I cringe thinking about past things I’ve said and the unfortunate impressions I’ve made. It was never my intention to behave in a detrimental way, and I have a good deal of remorse for some not-so-smart things I’ve said. I just don’t think my current state and personality lend me with the ability to be a good friend, but hopefully that will come in a few years. :) For now, it’s just not a possibility, and I’ve realized that.
And I would definitely like to apologize to everybody I haven’t really been good to. I think I’ve come across as very agitated when it wasn’t my intention, and I haven’t been a very positive influence. Nobody has an obligation to be anyone’s friend, and I think that if I’m an unhealthy influence it was certainly for the best for everyone to leave. I’ll respect that. I don’t want to be a bitter and resentful person. It’s perfectly fine.
And now that it’s the end of the month, I’m really excited to reach 50K on my current project! I hope to complete this draft and then rewrite it again to polish it. :)
Still, starting right about now, I will not be active on Tumblr during the end of year because I have a lot of projects, presentations, volunteer work, and exams to do while coping with recent events. In fact, I probably won’t really be on that much until April 2014. Not for a major reason — just because that’s roughly the time “Game of Thrones” and “Hannibal” will be back on and I often become more active when my shows aren’t on hiatus. (And I haven’t watched the new seasons of “Vampire Diaries” or “Supernatural” because I keep forgetting. They aren’t really my “major” shows and the former has fallen out of my good graces). I do have a random date queue in place where there will be roughly one post every week, so there will still be content (in the form of fandom gifsets and kitten pictures). My sideblogs also have a queue in place (though they’re less consistent or organized because I’m lazy lol). I am available on Gchat and through e-mail.
Have a good one!
When Bonnie was killed, did you know you’d definitely come back?
Kat Graham: They said she was coming back, but I wasn’t sure how they were going to do it and there were a few questions unresolved. But I think it’s pretty clever the way they did it.
I saw you burned the sweater that Bonnie wore every episode this season.
Graham: To clarify, we have doubles of literally everything we wear in every episode, so they let me burn one out of maybe 10 sweaters. It wasn’t a revenge thing, but we had been shooting in that outfit since the summer and a Georgia summer is hot. I was baking so I’m like, “Can Bonnie not take off this sweater for the scene?” But I had keep it on. So I grew to resent it because it was so uncomfortable and itchy, so it was therapeutic for me to be free.
Is that the same reason Bonnie has a new ‘do now?
Graham: I’m always trying new things with my hair and I hang out with [executive producer] Julie Plec a lot, and we were out at some event and I was rocking my bob. She was into it and it’s been my regular style for a few months now and she got a little inspired and thought it would be good timing for Bonnie to get a new cut anyways.
So how is Bonnie feeling at the beginning of Thursday’s episode?
Graham: It’s very bittersweet. A lot of the characters have this bittersweet tone to their story lines right now. On one hand, she has Jeremy and her girlfriends back and on the other hand, she’s the anchor and every supernatural being who dies has to pass through her and she has to have that agony. So you’re going to see her start to find the good and the bad, and what it means for her. She considers herself still a witch, but her powers are gone. So for someone who constantly had to fix so many situations with her powers to have them no longer be active is really frustrating and complicated. But there will be a solution to needing magic sometime soon. There always is.
Will Bonnie keep the anchor consequence a secret?
Graham: At this point, she doesn’t know if it’s something that happens with a couple of people or if it’s going away — Bonnie likes to feel things out first before she lays it all out. So we’ll see her start to unveil this part of her.
How are Bonnie and Jeremy now that they’re really together?
Graham: We’ll see their relationship develop. I mean, she can finally be with him! It’s cool she has this support from him. I know fans earlier were frustrated because they didn’t feel like the “Beremy” situation was really explored, so I’m hoping to see more happiness than heartbreak.
Well, it seems Jeremy is shirtless in an upcoming scene, so can we expect some sexy time?
Graham: Jeremy’s always shirtless! Because he works out so much, Steven McQueen always finds a reason to take off his shirt, so don’t be fooled.
Will Bonnie’s mom Abby (Persia White) return?
Graham: I would be very surprised if we don’t see Abby this season at all. I would expect to see more of Bonnie’s family and their exploration of that and their relationship and her being the only living parent.
Finally, any teases for the 100th episode?
Graham: I know it’s going to be a fan favorite. There are some reunions [that] are really exciting.
Korra, this fight is not over.
No but seriously let’s talk about how frikkin deep this scene is. She is honest to god convinced that she is about to be crushed to death and that Vaatu would win. How hopeless does it feel when you’re sure your’re about to die? How hopeless do you feel when you realize you’ve not only let yourself down, but everyone else in the world too? And not just everyone in the world, but everyone for the next ten thousand years! And that’s even worse than dying, because you are sure that it’s all your fault.
Not only all that, but she was on the verge of death on her own. Korra didn’t have any true friends while she grew up in the compound; it’s only when she comes to Republic City that we see her develop the relationships she needed all along - the ones that were unattainable during those 17 or so years at the compound. Meeting Tenzin, Pema, Jinora, Ikki, Meelo, Mako, Bolin, Asami, and so many others gave her the something she didn’t have. But I think deep down, she knew she couldn’t rely on them forever; she would need to solve some issues on her own. That’s going back to this scene here:
What has passed still remains ingrained; it can’t be erased so easily. She feared beginning alone and, I’m fairly certain, she feared having to end alone.
'Light in the darkness' came back many ways, but I think this may be one of the most purely visual, as it gets darker and darker, and she's completely alone—then in the thick of that, Raava, literal personification of light, speaks directly to her. She reassures Korra of her worth and her strength, addressing her as name and validating her as the Avatar, and that’s when Korra bursts out of the darkness.
when you realize your otp will never be happy ever again
billlboard-charts said: ugh
like i go on this huge analytic splurge on the use of the manic pixie dream girl in fiction and the flaws in the narratives
and the response is a personal attack on my psyche
"that sounds like a personal problem to me"
domoarigracias said: i love your writing
awww, thank you <3
i just don’t like the process of editing and rewriting because i’m often second-guessing and wondering if i really improved on a part or if it was better the way it was
and i know i was talking to others and my english professor and they were like “but it’s fun” or “it’s great because you’re improving and making it closer to perfection” and i’m just so meticulous and picky that it’s not fun lol